I am a pleased recipient of the break and the hope that I was waiting for.
I have been through a lot in this life, and I value the people, places, and things that I am connected to in as nurturing a way as I can muster from my flesh and bones. The last few days I was gifted a lift from my depression.
I have been in a tourniquet of deep and prolonged bouts of doubt and anxiety mixed with this disparate numbed sensation that I didn't know how to lift myself from. But the Phoenix has risen, and I see now very clearly how the things, the hardships I have endured have been shaping my transformation with the necessary vision of what it is that I was not seeing due to my blind spot.
We are in this life to do good for the sake of others. Healing wounds, easing of suffering, and producing growth and sustainable change not just for the good, but for the humanity of serving those we are here on Earth with, the beings we share our lives connected to through our one home, is of the highest order.
The revelations I have come to have emboldened a sense of the need to produce the success I have long sought for myself. But the thing I realized is that it won't ever succeed if I do it for money, fame, power, or the thrill industry gigs can supply.
I want to do a few things.
First off, I am creating a charity, and will be filing for not - for - profit tax status, with an EIN, and the things that fall in line with it. It's name is "One Indigenous People", and it's primary goal is to stop world hunger.
I have been homeless for years, literally, of my life, and it is apalling even here in the U.S. how I found that you can go hungry. Three years ago in Los Angeles, I arrived at 290 lbs., and lost 90 lbs. in 90 days due to lack of ability to meet my needs for sustenance. I remember being in a state of dismembered disbelief as I ate from a trash can things I didn't know whether they were good. After a long, tiresome walk seeking help for the fact I hadn't eaten on a Sunday night since Friday morning at St. Joseph's Center's "Bread and Roses", in Venice, I found a slice of mango, lying dirty and sandy on the sidewalk, and ate it to the disgust of passersbye.
I would walk the streets, and much of www.ozenoz.media was as it is now, and restaurants busy to the max would bust out talking about me. I remember walking by a full club one time and everyone knew who I was and was talking. Me, I was homeless, penniless, foodless, hurt, tired, and sore. No one stopped to help until late one night months later when I was a solid rail at 200 lbs. (I looked 150lbs.) someone did offer to help. He said they couldn't watch this go on for me, he had equipment, sex, drugs, and rock and roll. He reiterated, "...sex, lots of women, lots of sex!" In my addled bi - polar brain I felt as though he had just asked me to go from the fire to the center of the flames. I mocked him until he left me standing, alone.
But believe it or not, there was a lack of food so bad that it brought me to dire sickness in ingesting things I would randomly find.
"One Indigenous People" will raise funds through donations and drives to feed the homeless not only here, but in our Sister Cities. We will start with the top 10 most populated cities in the U.S., and their "sister cities" and a few hand picked African and South American locations.
The food will be allocated to workers (found by me) from job boards. The job pays $15/hour (8 hour shifts) for two hours of shopping for the food, preparing it for two hours, and then traveling to different places where hunger strikes neighbors for the last four hours. The shift comes with a - free-
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t-shirt!!
There of course, is a goal to reach out to provide guidance to other services available to help, and social workers would be in line eventually to travel with the food servers to do this.
I need to give back. I am not going to accept money for it personally.
This comes as a big move in time now for me, when I have found a way to get income for myself (finally) and it lifted my eyes to see the opportunities available to me.
I am enrolling in school to be a "Desktop Publisher", and I am pursuing a move to start landing gigs as a motivational speaker, speaking on the broad base of experiences I have had in this life. The core belief in people I have is that we, as one world family have the strength, the spirit, and the mindseye to use this modern mass connectivity we can control; and that through our wisdom we will act for the survival of our inter-networked, and progressively unified global society.
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"Peace by Peace"
Dispatch : The General (in Russian) benefitting the Ukraine
Of past battles won and lost
And legends of old
A seasoned veteran in his own time
With many medals of bravery and stripes to his name
He grew a beard as soon as he could to cover the scars on his face
And always urged his men on
The Old General tossed in his sleep and wrestled with its meaning
He awoke from the night to tell what he had seen
And walked slowly out of his tent
With the courage in their blood and a fire in their stare
And it was a gray morning and they all wondered how they would fare
Till the old general told them to go home
And I have discovered
That this fight is not worth fighting
And I've seen their mothers
And I will no other to follow me where I'm going
So
You got no time to lose
You are young men you must be living
Take a shower and shine your shoes
You got no time to lose
You are young men you must be living
Go now you are forgiven"
Not knowing what to do with the contradicting orders
The General said he would do his own duty but he would extend it no further
The men can go as they pleased
Till one by one they stepped back and not a word was said
And the old general was left with his own words echoing in his head
He then prepared to fight
And I have discovered
That this fight is not worth fighting
No, And I've seen their mothers
And I will no other to follow me where I'm going
So take a shower and shine your shoes
You got no time to lose
You are young men you must be living
You got no time to lose
You are young men you must be living
Go now you are forgiven"
Go now you are forgiven
Go now you are forgiven, go
Go now you are forgiven
Go now you are forgiven
Go ooo oooooooo
Go now you are forgiven
Go now you got to be,
Got to be, got to be, got to be,
Got to be yeaaaaa
<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
Oh, and did I say I'm writing a book? Maybe.
Good one.
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